Sunday, January 2, 2011

Deadlines

Erin, Me, cousin Jer at the family cousins' Christmas party. Who doesn't stick pantyhose on their heads when given the chance?

Ok. I have exactly 12 minutes to type another blog before I told Tyler he had to put me in bed for my 10pm curfew. The night before school starts... blech. I don't have super high expectations for sleeping and, truthfully, I am hoping we get some freak snow storm that shuts everything down tomorrow. Wishes, wishes, wishes.


But, the reality is, tomorrow I will get up at 5am and stand in a stupor at my alarm clock and think, "This is really early. This sucks," before stumbling into the bathroom to start the routine. Somewhere along the way, I will stop hating the early morning and appreciate the silence. That usually happens right before I am stressed about getting everything done that I didNOT do over Christmas break. I will not be casting the disappointment stones at my students tomorrow... then they can't gripe that I didn't grade their essays, right? Right. We'll see how that goes.


A lot of people have asked how it's been going back to work and I think the question is really just a general survey question. I don't think they really want to know the gnitty gritty (or is it knitty???) details, but you know me and how I love details... I think going back to work has been the greatest mental paradox for me. I am REALLY grateful for my specific position and the timing of my job. I KNOW the Lord had a hand in blessing me with being close to my home, with me teaching a class I had taught before [which has really helped in the confidence arena after being home for 8 years], and with knowing that our family would be okay as we transitioned into a working mom sitch-iation. I love teaching. And I love English. I really enjoy the kids (some I love, and some are REALLY tough). Regardless of all my professional passion, though, my first priority is being a good mom and wife. BUT, let's face it. There's only so many hours in the day and since God sent me with only 2 hands, a lot of things fall through the cracks. THAT has been the hardest thing for me about going back to work. I don't like when I watch things fall into the abyss of "oops, totally spaced that" or "crap, that's not gonna get cleaned/done/finished." Trying to maintain 2 full time jobs is tough, yes, but more frustrating since I just get downright tired. I can't believe, the past couple months, how weary I have felt some nights. It's kinda amazing and REALLY makes me feel like a chump for complaining so many other times when I had it pretty good.


I am reminded daily how blessed I am and while me working hasn't made us any richer (somehow my income is pretty invisible...), I find I am appreciative of my time with Tyler and the kids WAY more than I used to be. And honestly, I needed that. I suppose I should be more demonstrative of that appreciation. . . but I still get stuck doing the laundry and toilets instead.


Ope, gotta run. Times up. Again, I'll be going private here as soon as I get the chance to type in your addresses. Thanks for emailing me, those of you who wanna read. I can't wait to tell you all those details of my life that I try to skip when we pass in the hallway and you are kind enough to inquire about my life. {{Smooches}}

10 comments:

Amy said...

Here's hoping for a snow day for you tomorrow! (even though I'd prefer to send my kids to school tomorrow--that's how much I like you :)

Add me to your blog list when you go private!

Jenn S. said...

Sarah, I have been a bad blogging buddy, I am so glad to hear what you are up to and OF COURSE I want in on the private blog. xoxoxo I wish I was there to help you - you NEVER cease to amaze me.

Mike Upham said...

Sarah,
If you are going private, don't leave me out of the loop! I love reading about your adventures with five kids (and now returning back to work). I hope this week hasn't been too bad. I remember going back after break as being rough.
My email is lisa.upham@comcast.net!
: )
Lisa

Babs said...

I know the weariness does get to you, but for the record I think you are doing a fabulous job. And of course, I love that you now go to bed at 10 p.m. because now I have a FHC carpool buddie. Those driving moments are precious precious time. Love you.

Anne of Green Barlows said...

Sarah-I am sure that you are a great teacher! We are always our own worst critics, but those kids are lucky to have a teacher that loves the subject she is teaching! The only teachers that I remember from High School are the ones that loved what they did. Anyways, don't leave us out when you go private-my email is bay_princess@hotmail.com and you should definitely check out the new Barlow family blog: www.bunchofbarlows.blogspot.com
We are getting excited to come and see you all in a couple of weeks:)

Aubrey said...

Ok, so I want in on your private blog as well! I love reading your blog. It gives me lifts on days when I really need it:) Good luck with life!

Kimberly said...

I'm glad you havent gone private yet! Sign my up when you do: garrynkim@cox.net

chanel said...

don't forget me...
chanelkathleen@gmail.com

so cool to see these posts- i asked about ya when i cafe rioed (its a verb now) with erin.

and your whoville hair is to die for! you rule!!!

love my boys said...

Sarah - make sure I'm on your list when you go private. Probably use fun4angela@gmail.com.

Thanks!! I love that you're blogging again. I need to get my rear in gear and make it a priority!!

The Hulls said...

I just gotta say, I'm stoked to be reading posts by you again! You always make me laugh and I love the updates..add me to your private list please:) ethanhull@hotmail.com