Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Dirty Mouth

{***Warning! I will be typing curse words in this post. I'm not clever enough to use the right * or & or % symbols to pretend like I'm trying to say the word without saying the word.***}

This morning Caylee came into my room, climbed on my bed, and while I was getting ready she asked, "Mom what is a bitch?" Since I was in the bathroom I'm sure she missed my momentary panic-look on my face. So, I girded my loins and walked over to her and answered, "Well, a bitch is actually a name for a female dog, but now a lot of people use that word as a mean and nasty word for any girl that they don't like. It is a really bad word and you should never, never, never say it or ESPECIALLY call another person a bitch. If you do say it, you will be in big trouble. Where did you hear that word, by the way?" Apparantly it's on "Hot and Cold" by Katy Perry which I had just uploaded to her ipod this weekend.

Caylee seemed satisfied with the explanation and I was hoping it would be one of those things she filed away in her "maturity" file, but not 20 minutes later Mackenzie came into the living room with big eyes and said, "Caylee just called me the B-word"

"CAYLEE!!!!" I yelled.

"What? I didn't call her that, Mom!" she shouted back from her bedroom.

"I told you that you were going to get in trouble for saying that. You DO NOT call your sister that." I said (slash-yelled).

"Yes she did, Mom. She did call me the b-word." Mackenzie persisted.

"Both of you in here. Right. Now." wait, wait, wait "Tell me exactly what happened."

Caylee said, "I just asked her if she knew what a b-word was."

Kenzie continued, "And then she said 'because you're being one.'"

"Caylee" I whined, "I told you that you CANNOT say that word. Bring me your ipod. You are grounded from it and I'm taking that song off your ipod."

So nice, huh!

******

{This one is pretty gross, just FYI!)

So I had finished my workout and was doing a little cool down stretch when my friend Deborah came up the stairs and we started to chat before I had to leave and her pilates class started. We're chatting, chatting, chatting, and I opened my water bottle and chug, chug, chug. A little more chat, chat, chat and I checked the time. Whoops, time to go . . . bye, bye, gotta get the kids, have fun at your class, grab my stuff, down the stairs . . . wait . . . this isn't my water bottle . . . this is . . . OH MY CRAP! This is NOT my water bottle that I was just chugging, chugging, chugging! Oh yeah my people! I had totally opened someone else's water bottle (who I assume was walking the track) because it was right in front of me [where I was sitting on the mat stretching] AND THEN I DRANK ABOUT HALF THE BOTTLE!!!

Are you about grossing out right now?

So, I made a quick decision (that, in hindsight, was probably not right since I subjected some other person to then drink after me, some random stranger) to put the water bottle back where I had picked it up . . . even though I had already swigged half of it. I just couldn't risk being caught if I filled it back up and THEN put it back. And yes, having thought it all through, I'm pretty sure I should have just thrown the bottle away.

Oh, I have GOT to pay more attention and then NOT drink from other people's bottles.

NASTY!
NASTY!!
NASTY!!!

8 comments:

julie said...

Adisynn has picked up on that B-word from that song too. There are a lot of songs that this little 4 year old shouldn't be listening to because of her big sister and ok maybe her mom too. Hehe. I have kinda a potty mouth myself sometimes and had to refrain from a few choice words because she has started to say them. A little bit of damn and hell here and there. When caught off guard it is kinda funny because she says. I know... bad mom for sure!!

julie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chris jenkins said...

oh boy. my girls have the song on their ipods too.

and like eewwwwwwww on the water bottle!!!

Robin said...

Atleast you are in good company cuz my kids listen to this song all the time and have it on their mp3 players.

Beth said...

I got this really cool water bottle thingey from SCRAPFEST that even has my name on it. Maybe you could talk to the SCRAPFEST people and get one for yourself! :) It even has a handle. But, it won't fit in the water-bottle-holes on the machines at the gym...guess that wouldn't work. Never mind. I'm just sayin' anyone working out at the gym is probably really HEALTHY and you didn't get any cooties from them. That's right...keep telling yourself that.

Troy and Nancee said...

I am so scared for those moments. I think you handled it really well.

Kathy said...

Qhwn Lindsay was two she came to me and asked "Mom, is it okay to say Holy S**t?" We had just gotten our first VCR and the girls were hooked on the movie Back tothe Future. I guess I had never paid enough attention to Marty McFly's language. And can anyone explain to me why they bleep "hole" when someone says A-hole instead of ass? Now there's a word that's gotten way too common.

chanel said...

oh thank you for making me laugh- really i nEEDED it! you're te best!