Sunday, May 10, 2009


I know, it's a shocker. I am actually blogging. But here's the rub; I will not be blogging about much of substance. Blech. I know. You might as well go check someone else's blog. There's plenty clever, witty, inspiring things out there on the internet and I LOVE them. However, I'm finding that it gives me a bit of a blogging complex if I don't have pictures or links or, heaven forbid, a super positive thing to say.

So, here's my deal. EVERY time I open my computer to "do" something I have all these choices I have to make. Email? Girls' camp program writing? Mackenzie's decade scrapbook? Blogging? Facebooking? Facebook album updating? Facebook discussion group threading? Picture organizing? Online ordering? AAAHHHHH! The pressure, I tell you. I have a lot to write about, just for record-keepings sake. I have super cute pictures I'd love to share. I also have a scrapbook project I need to finish before Mackenzie's 10th birthday (which would be WEDNESDAY!) and today, since it was mother's day and all, I busted out an old scrapbook project I was working on for Tyler's mom. I am on to myself, though, I know all my "projects" are ways of procrastinating. And what REALLY annoys me about myself is that I have all the normal stuff to do like laundry and dishes and cleaning and tending to the offspring and to do that leaves me with this impending doom-ish feeling of all the "projects" I have to get done. Yes, those projects that I have created for myself. It's weird and messed up, I realize that. Here's the real doosie, though. I cannot stay off facebook. PLEASE my people. I am about to ground myself for a week from facebook, but I know I will "sneak" a peak here and there. The brain-numbing act of reading status updates has me completely hooked. Oh, dear, and if there be a thread of funny comments or anything, I'm a gonner. SOOO, then I'm really behind. All of this entire previous paragraph has probably been a lot of "waaa waa waa waa waa waa." Sorry. Workin' it out. Aren't you sorry you didn't click on someone more clever already?

Not that I should sound like I am complaining, because, let's face it, my laptop is supposed to be fun, a luxery even, and compared to the other travesties going on in the world, I have it pretty cush. However, sitting in front of my laptop tonight, perusing all the super sweet facebook Mother's Day wishes and then reading the make-me-weep posts on others' blogs I realized two things: 1. Sometimes Mother's Day is crappy. I mean, it can start out great and it can be muddled through and faked through, but then, by the end of it, one can be in a pretty funked out place about the whole holiday and 2. I have completely whacked out expectations, which is a bad habit to have in the first place, but add some hormones into it all and VOILA I have a good dose of anxiety. And I'm blaming it all on my Laptop.


Nan said...

I love you:) My Mother's Day had a big ol' poop on it, so it wasn't that great for me either. I'll blog about it soon. I love that you tell it like it is! That's probably one of the biggest reasons we are such good friends, we accept each other, warts and all, and don't feel like we have to "put on a show". I also love that the thing that probably stresses you out most in your life is yourself! I'm the SAME way for sure! If I wasn't stressing about some situation that I created for myself, my life just might be a little too perfect (and how scary is THAT thought!!). I just love you to pieces!!

Beth said...

Hey, you gotta blame something. The laptop is as good as anything!