I thought I'd go ahead and post this next post, but do not mean to offend anyone. I wrote it on the back of our MapQuest directions when we returned from a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday in Price, Utah with Tyler's cousin Abby and her family. Last night, after a long road trip home, we decided to go, as a family, to Bobby Wyson's Eagle Scout Court of Honor. I should have known better. I should have thought it through. Four kids, one hour more of sitting, a quiet situation. Not good. So, this is a glimpse of where I was at last night at 7pm-ish. And yes, today is a new day and I'm feeling better about life. PS. I'll post more about our weekend later when I can get the pics downloaded.
Sunday, November 25th, 2007
I'm sitting in the car with Brevin and Brock who are fa-reaking out bawling and crying since I had to take them to the car for misbehaving at Bobby Wyson's court of honor. OF COURSE, two minutes into the ceremony they call for the Eagles' Nest and Tyler gets to sit up front while I battle to keep kids quiet. And who's behind me? President Burr [Stake counselor over YW]. And to my side? President Davie [Stake President]. I'm sure my kids were a distraction and the priesthood leadership is probably trying to figure who else to call into my stake YW position since I OBVIOUSLY have my hands full. And another on the way? Who am I kidding? I am SO on overwhelm right now. I watch Mackenzie sit so quietly and respectfully, even though I'm sure she's totally bored too, and I wonder if the boys will EVER get to that point?
I hate having to listen to their wails to get out of the car when THE LAST thing I want to do is reward them by going in for dessert. The following-thru part is THE hardest of being a mom, especially when I want dessert. And I missed the slideshow. I love a good slideshow. I DO NOT want to be sitting out here either. Do they think I like this? I DO NOT like having to listen to the whining and crying and the lulls followed by getting all re-worked up outbursts again. OH, and the "You're a very mean mom" or the "Let me out of here Mom" and the "Daddyyyyyy . . . Dadddddaaaaa" pleas are SO lovely. HE'S IN THE EAGLE'S NEST! And I am trying to rationalize with a 2 and 4 year old, which is pretty close to pointless. Sit still? Be quiet? What does that mean? So I'm listening to the snotting and the kicking of the carseat, and I'm counting the minutes that have gone by [15 minutes so far] while warm, fuzzy sentiments, good desserts, and socialization goes on inside. And people question why I don't feel satisfied with motherhood? I WONDER WHY? And I'm a little freaked we're starting this all over again. I'm so disheartened to think these will be my battles for even longer than I originally planned. And I'm so bummed that we couldn't have all sat there, with Tyler in the Eagles' Nest, for the hour or so, and gone home happy. I'm gonna pull my hair out as Brock has started the high-pitched squealing [20 minutes now.]
If pulling my hair out doesn't work I could just get out and leave these two to scream it out. Do we really never follow-thru that sitting one event out could elicit this kind of response? Have I mentioned how happy motherhood makes me feel? Maybe I should read this at Brevin and Brock's Eagle Court of Honor so they will know that even at an early age I was dedicated to making them better people. That nights like tonight will be like all the merit badges I will push and the projects I will jam down their throughts all so they'll be stronger, better, more respectful young men. Isn't that the glory of a mother? To be yelled at and argued with and to be a person with whom the kids can ALWAYS be mad at? Oh, lovely. I just got a "You're breaking my heart" from Brevin. Nice. So nice.
Ope, I am seeing people leaving to their cars. The party must be over. Is that cake I see on their teeth? And here's my Scout in shining uniform [it's been 30 minutes]. . . Here's his three questions:
him: "Didn't go so well?" me: "Nope."
him: "How long have you been out here?" me: "30 minutes."
him: "They been crying like this the whole time?" me: "Yup. I'm ready to go when you are."
And off we go to more crying and moaning since the girls brought their mini cheesecakes to eat in the car. Nice. It was cheesecake. Oh well.