Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Most Amazing Episode EVER!

So for the past few seasons of ABC's ever-stimulating reality/drama show, "The Bachelor," I have been gathering with some of my peeps to watch and discuss the people who purposefully choose to be on a completely ridiculous trainwreck of a show . . . to find TRUE LOVE! Trust me, my husband reminds me how silly the premise and entire show is, BUT I simply can't help myself. Season after season I get totally hooked and look forward to Chris Harrison's "This is the final rose" x 20 million and the promos that remind us that next week will be the most dramatic show in Bachelor history.

A couple weeks ago I brought my camera to capture our "parties" which are really just a group of us who gather usually at my sister's house. (Apparently, Daniel informed me, my house isn't as fun as Erin's because I stress about cleaning and I multi-task during the show; Erin only stresses about cleaning and has thus been dubbed 2nd "funnest"; but Stacy's [my SIL] is by far the best place to watch the Bachelor because we all chill and there is NO stressing or multi-tasking. BUT Stac moved to Connecticut [okay, it's really just the other side of town] so we're forced to take second-best accomodations at Erin's . . . but I digress!)

Really, there's not a lot of partying. Just a lot of pausing and rewinding to see the stink eyes and the crusty looks from one Bachelorette to another and then a lot of fast-forwarding past the recaps and the emotional men (because, frankly, that's really uncomfortable.) Here's Erin (WHO is multi-tasking, B.T.W., but the Bachelor policeman Daniel didn't make it that night.)
And these are Jennie's feet all kicked back. Yes, the Bachelor should be watched in uber-comfortable circumstances because, heavens knows, those ladies do some funky stuff on national television that make the home viewers feel pretty scrunchy and uncomforable. Like the lady this season who blubbered and snotted her love and affection for the Bachelor and then moved in to kiss him even though her shredded kleenex was still stuck to her lip. Or when someone starts opera singing (ALWAYS uncomfortable). OR, a classic, sticks her thong in a Bachelor's pocket . . . too good to be made up or scripted. This is real desperation we're watching!
And because we really do have a life, our party prefers to watch the Bachelor via TIVO or a DVR to move past the commercials and the aforementioned standards of the show (stink eyes, crying men, and recaps). This is the beautiful Ms. Angela enjoying the show:
So, yeah, tonight was the finale with Jason Mesnick and HOLY CRAP!!! It really was the most dramatic/amazing Bachelor finale EVER. Well, the rose ceremony was no big whoop. Melissa was the obvious choice, but I do have to admit that I totally was feeling a team shift toward Molly after their whole scrapbook date. I'm a sucker for the scrapbook, I guess. Long story short, *SPOILER ALERT* Jason picks Melissa, but by the "after the rose" show the two were obviously NOT working out and then he totally asks Molly to consider dating him again. I know. Can you believe it? There were some pretty seriously uncomfortable moments where the anxiety actually got to me and I thought, this is far too personal to be a part of . . . I get suckered in EVERY season, people. But even better than spending two hours watching Jason date two women, fall in love with them both, dump one, a LOT of crying (seriously has anyone met a man who'd hang over the glass wall thing a boob like that?), propose to the other girl, have the show's host give some schpeal about the sanctity of what we're about to witness, see the engagement end, listen to some more crying, and THEN watch The Bachelor have the nerve to publicly ask the dumpee to reconsider dating him, and THEN to see her accept and completely make out with him IS that tomorrow there is a Part II of "After the Rose." I just don't know if tomorrow will go fast enough.
Yes, true to form, The Bachelor was a trainwreck this season. And WE LOVED IT! We analyzed the face grabbing with every kiss, the phrases that were WAY overused, the bad cleavage (and dresses and accessories and botox jobs), and the candor with which these women completely give their life to a guy within a matter or weeks. But perhaps this season, more than others, we noticed the incredible comeback of
The Side Pony Tail
The Bad Bump-age with the pulled back hair dos.

All I'm saying is that if you're going on national TV to find true love competing against a bunch of other ladies, perhaps someone could use a comb to smooth over the lumpy lumps. And while a side pony tail may look cute from head-on when you're walking out of a limo . . . over-wearing it gets tiring and then seeing it from different angles makes me think, "mm, not so cute!" Here's my tribute to what the gals side pony tails looked like 99% of the time:

Special thanks goes to my peeps of this season: Erin, Daniel (who made it to many of our meetings unless he got himself all sunburned while fishing at Lake Mead and planned a move for the day after the finale AND then didn't take care of himself so he also ended up with some too-much-stree-blame-it-on-his-sister sickness), Stacy (until she quit us and never called to say she wasn't coming tonight even though I brought pie), David (my brother who graced us with his appearance once this season), Jerolyn, Jennie, Angela, and my mom and Marsha. I also feel the need to be grateful for the cinnamon rolls, cookies, and pie that got us through this season. Now that it's all over, maybe I can move off my stinkin' weight plateau!


chris jenkins said...

see, i told you i got the whole run-down of the season in one neat little post! seriously though it does sounds like you all have some good times.

dig the side pony-tail - you should totally work that look next time you are at the gym - it's HAWT!

Jamie G. said...

That was such a CRAZY show last night. I'm over here on Eastern time and couldn't call anyone to dish about it, cause everyone I know is on the west coast and hadn't seen it yet!! I should of just called to spoil it, but I guess I'm not that mean! Can't wait for tonight!!

Angela said...

All I'm going to say is AMEN!!!

annilee said...

The side pony tail is Hot! Only you can sport that and look super hot while doing so!

MollyE said...

I couldn't wait to check your blog this morning to see if you had commented about the show!! I have watch the show all by my lonely self and I really need a bachelor posse. Sooooo crazy!! I agree about the bad hair, what is up with that?

Nan said...

Jason is DISGUSTING!! I can't believe he dumped Melissa on national television and I CANNOT belieive that Molly would take him back like that. We (Travis, Louisa and I)were praying that Molly would be like, "Um, no loser, in the 6 weeks since you DUMPED ME I fell in love with someone else and we're engaged". Booya!! But no, she's pathetic and he's a cry baby oogie loser and I love that Melissa called him a bastard:) Excellent call on the hair and nice pic:) Lou and I cringed every episode.

Kathy said...

Thanks for mking me laugh this morning. I still can't believe I let myself get sucked into another season. I think about you guys every Monday night while I'm watching all by my lonesome. Every season I start out thinking what a nice looking guy the Bacheolr is but by the end I just can't stand them. What a DORK!!

Jerolyn said...

What is it they say about train wrecks? Ya that applies here.haha. Nice pony tail~made me Lot's Of Love haha!

Stac said...

OK, first things first, I am Reeeaaallly sorry I didn't make it last night. I really thought I would but I didn't get home till right around 8 and then had to run back to the store to get bread to make Nate's lunch and still had to put the kids in bed. Sorry you bought pie and I missed it. If it makes you feel better, I missed the first 45 minutes of the show.

That really was the most dramatic season yet. and I FREAKING loved it! I loved the drama of the breakup and loved Molly reaction. Melissa can't be that broken hearted because I am sure she had to have known it was never going to work. It never does. So thank you Melissa for letting us all watch your drama.

Beth said...

Man, I'm sorry I missed it. I think I was asleep by 9:30.

coffee maker said...

i suspect that the women on the Bachelor were blinded by their competitiveness to the point that they don't realize what a tool they are competing for

candice said...

i'm SOOO happy you commented on the end of bachelor!! i don't know anyone else that loves bachelor like you do, so i was TOTALLY thinking of you during the finale -- thinking you must be dying! where in conneticut did your SIL move? maybe we should start our own bachelor chapter over here :)