Saturday, September 8, 2007

High Five me, please!

I think it's interesting how interested people are in other people's families. And by people, I mean me. I am interested in how others manage their kids (whether it be one kid or four kids), the pets or no pets thing, how people grocery shop for bigger families and what they make for dinner. I find the daily mundane tasks of family life interesting (which probably explains my affinity for blogs). A long time ago I learned (not through my own unfortunate circumstances, but from some of my friends) that it's a risky conversation to engage in the "are you gonna have any more kids" discussion. You just never know someone else's situation. However, I usually engage in those kinds of conversations out of simple curiosity, when the opportunity arises (more with my family and close friends), and I also hope for some perspective into my own life's mission of motherhood. I have also found that the more kids you have, the conversations change from, "Are you going to have any more kids" to "Are you done?" When I had Brock a couple years ago, I was loud and proud about sounding that final note in the Barlow family. Of course, many of my nearest and dearest had their own opinions about my choice, and didn't use restraint in engaging in the "having kids" convo by freely sharing with me, "I don't think you're done," "I'll bet you have more," or "You'll be sad when your kids grow up." Well, folks, I have been pretty adamant that four kids have filled my plate-a-plenty. I have felt so strained and strapped and stressed some times over the past couple years, that I would just pretend I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. And then, I could ACTUALLY see the light at the end of the tunnel as Brock hit his milestones. I started getting rid of the baby stuff. For good. Not the here-you-can-borrow-this-stuff-until-my-next-baby give-away, but the use-it-or-toss-it-I-won't-need-it-again-so-I-don't-care-what-you-do-with-it-as-long-as-I-don't-have-to-store-it-in-my-garage give-away. We dismantled the crib for good instead of just raising the mattress for the next baby. It's now fun to hold other people's babies since I don't have my own, but I haven't felt a yearning desire for one to take home. And, yes, I have had more nights where I slept through the night vs. being woken up by one of the kids. I have Brock on the agenda to potty train this winter, too. SO, yes, the light has gotten brighter. Woo-hoo! NO MORE DIAPERS!

Now, as for the permenance of my decision. I have prayed. I have sought the confirmation that our family is complete and I won't be facing unborn children in the afterlife. (I don't even know if that will really happen or not anyway!) I can't make heads or tails of the feelings; here's a sampling of thoughts constantly swirling: [A.) We are always blessed when we have had our kids, especially with happiness and laughter, so we should have more. B.) More than four kids is too many to give the attention to each of them as they (will and do) need. C.) Would I be trying to be prove something other than my insanity, like the peer-pressure to have a big family proves anything more than a bigger grocery bill . D.) Sure we could have more, but if that's the rationale, why stop at all? ETC.] Basically, I had to turn it over to Tyler to ultimately decide because I have pretty much decided that my pre-birthing (a.k.a. pregnancy) days are over; that Tyler will have to find another young thang to in-utero/birth the rest of his children. But with that, let me share that I do not have bad pregnancies, I am fairly normal physically, but MENTALLY I about went over the edge with Brock and handling the rest of life at the same time, so . . . I haven't gotten real jazzed since about being pregnant again. And I know that probably sounds ungrateful, so let me also say that I know it is an amazing blessing to be able to have healthy kids. But in all honesty, Tyler says I am about the only pre-partum depressed person he has known as opposed to the post-partum that has received so much coverage the past couple years. I have kinda come to the conclusion that adoption and/or fostering in a couple years would be a win-win solution for everyone. Lots of love and blessings - NO pregnancy psycosis. So, I have made appointments for Tyler to be vasectom-ized (which he backed out of twice), have positive-thought that maybe my one ovary would stop working, and had NUMEROUS conversations about the pros and cons of long-term birth control with all my girlfriends. All of that effort has produced no further definite decisions, and so. . .

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED:

Yes, Yes, Yes friends and family, the Barlows are expecting Baby #5 sometime next year. I have no idea when next year because we are still trying to wrap our brains around how this happened. YES, I know HOW it happened, but not when or, well, how we ended up in that small percentage of failure rate OR how our methods of ten years failed us. But, either way, IT IS WHAT IT IS, and we're happy about it . . . we think. I AM KIDDING, of course we are thrilled. We told the grandparents tonight and they seemed amused. Really, they laughed and smiled, etc. Kenzie came out of her bed for the millionth time while I was working on this post and I showed her the picture. Once she figured it wasn't Tyler who was pregnant (still haven't had that in-depth birds and bees talk yet), she asked all sorts of questions and was happy enough to get a little teary about it (in a good way.) On her way to her room, she stopped and pumped her fist, "YES! A sleepover at the grandmas pretty soon." Me and Kenz are hoping girl and Tyler's vote is boy; it'll be interesting to find out from the other kids in the morning what they think. I suspect they'll all be a little bummed, like Tyler was tonight, when they realize a dog won't be in our future until Barlow #5 is potty-trained. But what's a dog when you get a new baby brother or sister, right?
Agh! Yeah, my head is spinning. I know I am just barely pregnant, so I hope your prayers will be with us as we start on this nine month journey again. I am always nervous about sharing so early with the risk of miscarriages, handicaps, or multiples, but know at the same time that the Lord won't give us anything we can't handle. OBVIOUSLY!, right?! It will be my mantre for the next three trimesters. Yup, big 'ol HIGH FIVE for the Barlows :) Who'd a thunk it?

32 comments:

Tyler said...

I guess that explains the "hormonal" comment on my blog the other day!!! CONGRATS!!!! I guess I am first to post and wish you congrats. Perks of working graveyards I guess. I do have to say, that whole meeting your unborn children in the afterlife thing must be a BYU myth. I think they use it to keep all the women pregnant. You'll be fine. Things will go well. If you are saying that those things CAN fail (never been a problem for us, although I know it happens) I may just swear off "relations" until we are ready for #2!!! We'll have to get into the kid thing up at the campout. Enjoy it! I look foreward to baby pictures on your blog!

Beth said...

I am so happy for the love and joy this little baby will be bringing you both for the next forever (not number of years). Isn't that the greatest thing about eternal families? I miss the connection between you're being pregnant and a grandma sleepover, though. Me? Dodie? Delivery time? 'splain, please. I love you!!!

barlows said...

My girls both know that someone will offer them a sleepover while we're at the hospital, and in the past it has been the grandmas, usually Dodie, that has kept them (since you were at the hospial with me and have work, etc.), but they've also stayed with Erin and Mindie, I think. With so many kids now I am getting confused.

Jerolyn said...

Congrats! I'm happy for you guys!

Christina said...

Congrats! I am guessing the more kids you have the more happiness you have? We are happy for you!

The Fatman said...

Ummmmm Really I am speachless

Stac said...

ummm, I am with Daniel on this one! Holy crap!! although,after our conversation at swiss days and all the signs you have been having, Erin and I bet that you had to be pregnant. I really am happy for you. Nate is too. Congrats! But don't let this stop you from swiss days next year! Love ya!

Angela Judd said...

Congratulations Sarah!

Leslie said...

Congratulations! Maybe this will end up being 5 & 6. Never rule out the possibility of twins. YOU GO GIRL.

chris jenkins said...

congrats!

Troy and Nancee said...

Wow Sarah!!! Maybe we'll be sending you baby clothes. (: You guys can handle it or it wouldn't have happened. Congratulations (I think). Maybe our kids can be college roommates or something. Good luck.

robin said...

congrats sarah! ttys (chris taught me that one) or maybe it was ttyl, i'm a slow learner.

sarah said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!I'm so excited. I can't freaking believe that you ahve to copy me EVERY TIME I GET PREGNANT! I swear. It's probably my fault! I was prego with mikayla and then you with Brevin then came Trenton along with Brock and now this!!!! the only other thing i have to say is that if you even think about having this one before me I'm gonnna kick your BUTT!!! that was so not fair of brock to come before Trenton!!!!! I'm so excited for you. YEA!!

chicajill said...

I knew you weren't done!!! Congratulations! I'll call you tomorrow morning. Remeber I am supposed to come visit! Love ya.

Tris said...

Hey congratulations! That is way exciting! from Ryan and Tristen

Erin said...

Ummm, I think you mean 5 soon followed by #6 considering your aversion to odd numbers. I won't say "I knew it" 'cause I really don't need to...all these days you've known it too. So glad you've come out of denial & decided not to wait until 'next month' before taking a test. This pregnancy may surprise you--it may not be as bad as you expect. Congrats!!! I'm so happy for you guys (not sure if it's more 'cause it's not ME pg or if it's 'cause I'm just happy for you--either way, I'm excited for you.) How fun, I'm hopeful for a girl too!!!

Rick/Dad/Grandpa/Mr. D said...

Congrats Tyler and Sarah! Never say never (unless, of course, you actually do something permanent)! LOL Life is a roller coaster ride and sometimes you have to take it one day at a time. I'm very happy for you! (and I have to agree with Tyler D's BYU theory! lol)

annilee said...

WOW!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I am also speechless!

THE GARYSON FAMILY said...

CONGRATS!! Now you can join my club! 5 kids is a lot...a lot of fun! I never thought that I would want that many, but I love it. And, hey, I have the same dog rule. But my baby just got potty trained, so I guess I'm in trouble. Heavenly Father gives us our children no matter what we do to try and stop it. Our #4 was on the pill, and #5 was on the IUD. Crazy!! They were totally meant to be. You'll love it!! About grocery shopping...I do the once a month cooking thing and think it's awesome. Anyways, congratulations!! You'll be fine!

Jenn S. said...

Oh Sarah and Tyler Congrats!!

Sarah - you know I am laughing because we had this conversation just two weeks ago and little did you know . . .

Here's to a happy and healthy 9 (10) months! xoxoxo

candice said...

congratulations sarah!! i understand your anxiety, but i think it is SO EXCITING and you make super cute kids so...it's only right. and i'm with erin -- you can't stop at 5 now because 5 is the UGLIEST number in the world. hopefully it will be twins so you can knock them both out with one pregos. :)

Amy said...

Congratulations! So excited for you! Gosh, the first to break the 4 pact--all heck may just go loose now :) Amy

Barbara said...

Congrats and let me just say...if you ever call me and all I here on the other line are sniffs and sobs and some desperate gasps for breath, I'll totally know its you! :-) I'm here for you. You've always made pregnancy look beautiful (Tippy even called me to tell me how pregnancy becomes you when you were carrying Brevin) though you rarely feel it, I know..., you really do glow.

Love ya.

Jen Rose said...

CONGRATS! I think you were just trying to get 20+ comments! :)
I am so excited for you!

Kourtney said...

Holy...what in the...!?! I'm at a loss for words! Ya know what's funny? You posted not too long ago about being hormonal or something and I was going to comment- are you pregnant? But I never did, and you are! What a trip!!! Congratulations and Good Luck- just kidding!!! Love you guys!!!

Kourtney said...

I just read Tyler's comment and realized it was a comment you left on one of his blog's saying you were hormonal. Not one of you're blogs. I believe it was pics of my grandma holding Kiersten.
This will definitely be a hot topic at the big campout!

Erin said...

Are you sure that isn't an old pregnancy test & you were just trying to break your record for how many comments you got on one post?! J/K :-)

Joy said...

Sarah - Erin mentioned I should check your blog. I'm really happy for you and your family. You're a great mom - no matter how many kids you have! Good luck!

The Hulls said...

Congrats Sarah! You are superwomen, so I'm sure you'll be fine. Loves-Steph

Julina said...

Sarah! Dang, I should check this thing more often... I'm the 30th person to post here. Well, congradulations! I personlly think bigger families are more fun, but then again, I don't really know what a small family is like. But congrats! I assume your kid will wear the BYU shirt I send you, even if Stacy won't let her's... haha, Congrats!

chanel said...

how exciting! its such an emotional roller coaster, but really you're so blessed, hope it goes well, it will be fun to read about!

Taralee said...

Hey Sarah, I've seen your blog a couple times and man, this time I checked just in time to hear some great news :) Congrats!! That's awesome and very exciting. I just added you to my links-I hope you don't mind. Check my blog out tomtaralee.blogspot.com. See ya around!