Wednesday, October 22, 2008

In the Spirit of Full Disclosure

Please study the picture below. An analysis to follow. Yes, I know it's a bad picture; my photographer was a 9 year old anxious to play on the park playground. Sorry.
This post is for Jill T. and her friend, who I know lurk here from time to time and I think they have the wrong impression of me. Soooo, in the spirit of full disclosure I will explain what is going on in my life at the time that the above picture was taken.

I had Mackenzie snap this picture because it is not an uncommon scene in my life. Let me point out some details:
1. I am carrying Briggs on my left arm. That is where I always carry him to leave my more adept right hand available to answer my phone, grab one of his siblings who enjoy darting in front of cars in parking lots, and/or to get into my car. The muscles in my left arm are much stronger than the ones in my right because Mr. Briggs is getting rather large.
2. I am also holding Brevin's Spiderman backpack because he asked me to hold it (with my spare hand) while he went to play on the playground. While he practices soccer, the other kids play, so being the nice mom I decide he can have some time, too. I forget that that means he'll ditch all his gear in order to get in an extra slide down the slide.
3. On my left shoulder is a camp chair so I had a place to sit while watching aforementioned soccer practice. However, it's a kids camp chair (which is incredibly sturdy), but I spent practice feeling like the giant Alice in Wonderland sitting on someone else's baby furniture. Nothing says wide thighs and big mom butt like a camp chair with an 8" wide seat.
4. In my right hand is the box that is carrying out our dinner leftovers, water bottles and snack trash. That's because Tuesday nights are eat-out nights. As soon as the girls get home from soccer we have violin drop off, dance drop off, violin pick up, dance pick up, dinner take-out (yummy Port of Subs), and then soccer practice. None of that is so bad as knowing I have to bathe the kids by myself when we get home (which, probably is why I let the kids play longer . . . the Brevin bit is kinda bologna . . . I'm just procrastinating) and finish the homework that didn't get done in the car going from here to there.
5. On my right shoulder is my trusty diaper bag. Isn't it swanky? Yeah, it's a big black hole. I yearn for the day of small purses with only my wallet and cell phone. Instead I schlep the bag around with: the family calendar, pencils and pens, lipstick, diapers & wipes, an extra pair of shorts for Brock (just in case), an extra onesie for Briggs (just in case), gum, checkbook, two wallets (one with my grocery cards, frequent shopper punch cards and my debit card and another with all the other cards that mom's carry - insurance, library, appointment, etc.), a toothbrush, random legos, some fruit snack packages, and all other sorts of other knick knacks.
6. If you can't tell, I'm sure my legs weren't shaved that day, I have make-up on from the day before, and I'm guessing I was feeling a little sweaty after making it across the field with all my adornments . . . what I wouldn't kill for a quiet, uninterrupted bath!
7. And if you look close enough, yes, my boobs are totally crooked. I'm sure, 9 times out of 10, when walking around I look like a mess since nursing has completely wrecked my proportions in the chest area. I swear I could make a ba-dillion dollars creating a nursing bra that supports and compensates for the discrepancies that come after there's only time to nurse on one side and not the other.

So, yes, my life with five little kids is crazy and hectic and stressful. I'm blessed, I know that much, to be a mom. Every day (especially on Tuesdays) when we all survive it, I feel very accomplished. And aren't I JUST a picture of loveliness?

Boo-Yah! Mommy Warrior :)


13 comments:

Beth said...

You ARE a warrior and you ROCK, Sarah. I'm proud to be your mom and wish I had been half the mom you (and Erin) are.

chris jenkins said...

you are a supermom goddess rockstar with all the right accessories :D

julie said...

You are hillarious. I just had to chuckle as I was reading your post. Too, too funny!!! Hang in there. Your doing a great job! :)

Jessi McCall said...

Now that actually made me laugh out loud, no, not smile, LAUGH OUT LOUD!! I LOVE the Mommy Warrior picture. I have only one child, but ask Erin, I'm a nut job with just one! I almost cried at her house once because my kid threw up everywhere. I would NEVER survive a Tuesday with all of that going on. Congrats, you're my new hero.

The Fatman said...

Woot is all I can say Momma Diva to a T

annilee said...

Ha Ha, you make me laugh! Yes you are a great mom, and couldn't take a bad picture even when you try!!!

Donna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Donna said...

Sarah, you are all that and so much more. I don't know how you do it all with so much style.

chanel said...

you ROCK!!!! Seriously, i learn so much from you.
and one thing i noticed, which is soooo wonderful you probbaly think is weird, you're wearing SHORTS in October! Those firely hell days are paying off now, how NICE!!!!! (we've had our heat on for days!)

Karen said...

Believe me I have been there.....and now I am out the other side and they all bathe themselves and make it to the potty...mostly. It's a coming just keep going! Love you tons...thanks for turning me on to the blogging life it is grand!

Angela said...

GREAT picture of you Sarah. I love the spirit of full disclosure. You make me laugh. I'm so glad that we are becoming better friends. You are a fabulous mom...keep up the good work, girl!!

Babs said...

You are my hero..and I'm totally with you on bra issue. Really, I mean, what would it take to make a decent supportive somewhat attractive nursing bra...

craftyashley said...

You are too funny! So glad I found your blog!