Monday, December 29, 2008

Christmas Greetings

Today I went to my mailbox to pull out my cache of cards and greetings that I hadn't collected since the day before Christmas. It was the motherload. And I LOVED it! I know in a couple days there probably won't be any fun mail because I'm sure everyone sending out cards this year already sent them out. I literally put our cards in the mail on Christmas Eve night. Yes, I know they sat there for a day and then most of the local folk picked them up Friday and then you out of towners who warranted a stamp probably got yours Saturday or today. But I am having a minor Christmas card guilt right now because I had to cut back on our holiday mailings this year. Blame it on the economy or my freakishly-long list (last year I sent over 135), but Tyler actually gave me a card budget this year. Since I wasn't going to get my homemade cards done by Christmas (grrrr!) I opted for the Sam's club photo card (love the 24 hr. turn around), but that cut into my postage budget (double grrrr!) I probably wouldn't feel so bad, BUT Tyler once again wrote a doosey of a letter. For those of you who don't know, I dumped that responsibility in his lap a couple years ago and he totally rose to the challenge. And even though he says he isn't going to do it every year, he does. Cuz he's that kind of guy. And I love 'em and his mad Christmas-update skillz. So, without further ado, here's the cyber version of our good tidings.

Please enjoy this year’s recap to the tune of
Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby”

Yo! VIP let’s kick it

All right stop
Collaborate and listen
We are back with a brand new edition.
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Brocks a-grabbin’ my legs, daily and nightly
“Can I have some juice?”
“YO -- I don’t know.
Here’s your sippy cup, now go.”
To the extreme I change diapers like a vandal
One more kid to potty train’s all I can handle.

Weekly in the girls’ class that booms
But first Mackenzie, 9, needs to clean her room!
Flashy, when she moves with dope melody
Anything less than jazz is a felony.
Violin or dancin’,
You better not hate
Homework and chores- done
Or she don’t play.
If there is a problem, Yo! Sarah solves it
Check out our full year while Tyler recaps it.

Busy, Busy Barlows (x4)

Now that the ‘08 is ending
With Briggs nearly crawlin’, Sarah is pumpin’
Quick to the wean, yeah! the bottle he’s takin’
He’s eating real food, but not yet bacon.
Cuttin’ em teeth, comin’ in quick and nimble
I go crazy when I hear his simple
Cryin’ in the middle of the night
I fetch him for his momma cuz she do it right.

Rollin’ in our big white truck
Preschool for the boys is bang for our buck
The kiddies one standby, always askin’ me “why”
Do I stop? No! I just close m’eyes
Kept on pursuing to the home field
I bust a left and Brev, 5, downs the soccer hill
The game is over
Yo so I continue to 809 Bachman Avenue
Girls are hot, complainin’ ‘bout the A/C
Brock, 3, loves to ride watchin’ movies
Jealous ‘cause I’m not getting mine
Sarah with 5 kids means Tyler is denied

Reading, what Caylee learned to do
This year she turned 6, but acts more like 22
Her screams ring out like a bell
I grab my hair and Sarah says, “Hell!?”
Falling, on the carpet real fast,
Jumped in my truck, slammed on the gas,
Fighting and hitting the kids don’t stop,
We love them anyways and offer them pop.
Parents on the scene, you know what I mean?
What are we going to do when they become teens?
If there is a problem,
Yo! Sarah solves it
Check out our big year while Tyler recaps it

Busy Busy Barlows (x4)

Take heed ‘cause I’m a lyrical poet
3 boys on the scene in case you didn’t know it
Brock likes to climb and make loud sounds
Enough to put both of us in the ground
‘Cause these kids are like a super pill
You can hear, see, and feel
Healthy and happy
This is a heck of concept
We make it hype and Sarah blogs it
She posts our life just like a ninja
So many details, other bloggers say, “Man!
If her blog was a drug, I’d buy it by the gram.”
Keep our composure when 5 kids all get loose
Magnetized by a fishing trip is my juice.
If there is a problem yo Sarah solves it,
Check out our crazy year while Tyler recaps it

Merry, Merry Christmas (x4)
Yo! Sarah we can’t get out of here?
Word to your mother
Happy, Happy New Year (x4)


Donna said...

By far, that is the best Christmas "letter" ever!

Anne of Green Barlows said...

Hi Guys-so that was by far the best Christmas letter that we have had the privilege of reading this season of many, many way too-long and drawn out letters! It is good to see you on blog world...hopefully we can keep in touch:) Check us out at and
Love ya-Cousin Anne and Cousin Laura(the California Barlows)

chris jenkins said...

ryan totally thought yours was the most creative letter - was happy to see my pick won out (at least i think that was my pick) - lol

methinks you need to get tyler to perform the Barlow family christmas letter and video it- you know an acoustic version complete with guitar- i bet I could get people to pay to see it!

Troy and Nancee said...

Wow!! That was amazing. I loved it. Never knew Tyler was so creative.

Beth said...

I second Chris' idea. You could video it and put it on You-Tube. Then, you could be on GMA or Oprah!!! Who knows where it would take you? And, hey, I only put my Christmas cards in the mail, yesterday. Yes, that would be Dec. 29th! So, I probably take the prize for lateness in the card department!

chanel said...

he has some massive awesome skillz!
that was very fun to read.

Jenn S. said...

Sarah - please tell Tyler that that Christmas card letter will never ever be forgotten - both Marc and I read it several times over and were amazed at Tyler's mad skillz. Honestly - loved it, I think the best one I've ever read.

I asked Marc, "How can they possibly top this next year?"

I shrugged and said, "Maybe to the tune of "Baby got back?"