Oh I am so Christmas freaking out!

I am so stinkin' stressed out right now about Christmas and I have decided it's my virus-ed up computer that is bah-humbugging me these days. Seriously! I normally love this time of year and it seems like trying to fix my computer has taken my happy, cozy, Christmas-y image of the happiest season of all and wiped a big 'ol smudge of goo all over it. It probably sounds a little over-dramatic, but it IS! (Well, traumatic anyway.)

Santa needs to get his act together and finish purchasing some Christmas gifts. I'm struggling with the "keeping it equal" aspect of Christmas since my 9 yr. old has her heart on a couple of pricey things, my 6 yr. old has a mile-long list of crap, er, I mean, cheap treasures, and my baby really only needs diapers and baby food to have a merry Christmas. But, am I going to totally ruin my older kids when they put it all together that Briggs must have been a naughty boy since all he got was wipes and formula? I'm beginning to get why my dad says "I hate Christmas."

But I don't. I'm trying to remember the joy in the shopping and returning and shopping and re-returning for a better deal, etc. I'm trying not to complain that the weather has dropped to below 50 degrees here (even though it is a little nippy I can concede since it IS almost Christmas.) I'm trying not to focus on the money part that is soooo tied to Santa's plans (even though Tyler the Budget ELF reminds me constantly . . . thanks, dear) cuz his budget is going way too fast. And I'm trying to take a lot of time to remember the reason for the season. I love seeing my kids play with one of the nativity sets (okay, well, the plastic ones . . . I about bit Caylee's head off when she dropped Mary and shattered her on the tile floor last week . . . but c'mon, "What's baby Jesus gonna do without his momma?" [and yes, I yelled that at her in the heat of the moment.]) The kids were all asked to pick a service to perform during the holiday season and so far Caylee made treats to send to the people she misses most (Grandpa Bruce who's still working in California, Uncle Mike serving his mission in Virginia, and her teacher . . . whom she missed since she was at home and Mrs. McMurtrey was at her home that Tuesday night.) I'm loving every night when the kids pick one of our Christmas stories and we read it together while lying flat-bellied on the floor. I loved Kenzie's hair-flipping during the Christmas recital last night and look forward to Caylee's show tonight. I can't wait to check my mail to see what cards I get and LOVE the goodies that get dropped off (hint! hint! J/K) And did I mention how excited I am for holiday parties. Everything from the cousin party to book club to ward parties and even Tyler's work party give me something else to look forward to and keep me from thinking about my doomed laptop. Have I mentioned the laptop was a Christmas gift? Somehow there's some irony in how that Christmas gift is causing me so much stress this year.

When I start to think about my to-do list I DO get all angst-y and stress-y. Which, totally keeps me from remembering the happy spirit I am striving for. Mostly I am worried about my pictures and having access to my word-processing stuff (to print the Christmas letter and tags and cards, etc.) I would like to post some of my cute pictures of our halls all decked, but I can't get them off the 'ol laptop. And I'd really like to have everything done in an orderly fashion so I don't have to hustle and bustle unless I want to. I am hopeful that Daniel can fix all things viral and I can resume my holiday timeline. UGH, I'm off to drink some hot cocoa!