I had actually planned on posting about our fancy festival weekend in Cedar City where Tyler and Jared ROcKEd the dutch oven cooking competition, but I got some other goodies to share with y'all. I should have known better than to make a plan; that's when things get all messed up anyway, right?
To start my day, I'll have to admit to being on my way home at 2:22am this morning from my sister's house where we had our weekly Bachelor party since Stacy was in Utah. As always, it was a trashy show, but who really cares when the 40 minutes of the show (thank you Tivo) pales in comparison to the 5 hours of good conversation. We did miss Stac and Dave, but were glad to have Nate join us at the midnight-ish hour. And as much as Daniel grumbles about the late hours, I'm thinking some responsibility on his part for providing the MoGs with huge caffeinated beverages comes into some part of the wee hours.
So, I didn't think I'd be accomplishing much today and since Paula came yesterday (YEAH BABY!) my house was in good shape. The only matters of pressing business were taking my niece and nephew to and from school since they were staying with us while their mom was in UT. No biggie; doesn't even require a shower first thing in the morning. So, I ran the kiddos to their schools, came home, ate some Raisen Bran, chatted with Jill, dressed and played with my kids, went and picked up Courtnie, and headed home to pack up Conner and Courtnie's stuff since I was dropping them back off at their house after the kindergarten pick-up. I'm sitting at Beatty Elementary school talking to my mom (actually I was complaining about my VT supervisor calling me before the month was up to get my VT report. HELLO? One more REALLY big day to get'r'done, whatever) and then things got interesting.
At first I thought, "Did I just pee my pants a little bit?" but I kept talking because, well, I'm pregnant so it's not totally out of the question. A couple seconds later, though, when I felt a bigger gush and I checked to find a LOT of blood. I quickly ended the call with mom and called my Dr. who told me to go straight to the ER if I was bleeding as much as I was. Luckily I had a towel in the car, so I smushed it down my pants and I had to wait for Conner's bell to ring. Then I had to figure how to get to the gate without having everyone see the carnage that was all down the backside of my pants. I was freaking out as I was sure I was miscarrying. I totally went into crisis mode and walked right up to the teacher and told her I needed Conner first, now, it was an emergency, etc. When she was polite (and took her time) I announced I thought I was losing my pregnancy and needed Conner NOW so I could go to the hospital; I probably traumatized her. Anyway, Tyler's dad, who was going to watch the kids, drove me to the hospital where I met Tyler. Of course, since I didn't have a knife sticking out of my neck, I had to fill out paperwork and wait my turn. As soon as Tyler asked me how I was, I cried A LOT and when my brother walked in I about lost it again. I could tell he was concerned and he told me my sister had called, so I figured the calling tree had begun. I asked him if he had any oil for a priesthood blessing, but he didn't, so we called Tyler's brother. Blessedly, we got called into triage pretty quick and there was a really nice physician's assistant who got me more towels and paper scrub pants. He explained a "spontaneous abortion" is not necessarily a guaranteed thing and many women pass the trauma and still carry full term. I can't even explain the emotions I was going thru. I was a mess; just started crying; I was so sad for myself, for Tyler, for the kids. I felt guilty because this pregnancy didn't happen as any part of a plan, so I was still grappeling with it. And then I realized how excited I really was; that I bought into us needing another person in our family; that I liked thinking about baby name options. And I was trying to keep in mind that all things are for our learning and growth and WHAT could this all mean? I was just falling apart inside when Brandon got their and they administered a beautiful, calming, "thy will be done" blessing that really calmed my soul. Not that I thought I hadn't lost the baby (Tyler was more positive about that option), but I could tell from the blood loss it wasn't good. At the same time, I knew whatever happened IT WOULD BE OKAY.
We sat around waiting for the blood guy to take his vials and to get called back into the actual ER (they are always so busy at St. Rose Sienna!). I felt bad for those who were there in a lot of pain since I didn't hurt too much (by this time I had mild cramping on my lower, left belly area). Tyler was really supportive and kept making "Grey's Anatomy" cracks about the interns rendez-vousing in closets, etc. Once they called me back I had to go for an ultrasound without Tyler, and that was the most nerve-wracking since I knew I had already seen a heartbeat and I was fully expecting not to see one on the big screen. I know the techs aren't supposed to say what they are seeing, so I tried to ask vague enough questions. Ultimately, though, I couldn't resist my despair after she scanned over the fetus a time or two and I didn't see the ripple of the heart beating. I said, "There's no heartbeat is there?" I think she knew I was gonna lose it and she said, "no. no. there is, look. See, there's the heartbeat and it's even moving around." Oh my heck I just bawled and the tech was trying to comfort me. Then I wanted to know WHERE the blood was coming from so I urged her to keep looking. After the ultrasound Tyler and I sat and waited for the official diagnosis and it was: A placenta hematoma. It's basically a sore (lesion like) on the outside of the plancenta that starts to bleed when it pulls away from the tissue it had attached itself to (because of the growth of the placenta.) This is what I found online: A subchorionic hematoma is merely a sequestration of blood within the folds of the developing placenta. It usually has nothing to do with the fetus and, as long as you got a fetal heartbeat and there is adequate growth in subsequent sonograms, there should be no problem. The bleeding usually dissipates and disappears after a few weeks. Five weeks earlier it would have been far more serious, but luckily I am far enough along that I am not as at a high risk for losing little Miss Figgy (this week the fetus is the size of a fig.) I just have to let the bleeder fix itself and take it easy for a few days. I am still planning on going to Texas for the weekend to see Jenn, but will have to take it easy with the lifting (WHICH, considering all the climbing on me that my kids like to do, it'll be a good break to visit the Stanworths.)
A HUGE thank you to all those who prayed and send good thoughts and wishes. My in-laws were great to take care of the kids and my family was all on call for whatever we needed. Already several friends and family have offered help to take the other kids so I can rest, which is so much appreciated. I'm glad we have track break, so we won't be go-go-going too much anyway. It is nice to feel the love and support at such a scary time. I'll be taking it easy for Halloween day, and hope the bleeding totally stops by then. It's been a long day and I am feeling very blessed to have everything turn out as well as it did. Thanks again! I'll post the fun stuff tomorrow.