I love my brothers and sister

I have been blessed with the best sister and brothers (Sorry to the rest of you.) After a conversation with my mom this weekend, I thought a lot last night about why and how I love these four crazy cats. Here's a few of my thoughts on each of them.

Erin - We're thirteen months apart and I can't imagine a better friend in the whole world. Erin's "my person." I tell her everything, usually more than once, since we talk at LEAST two times a day. When we were in middle school we used to argue about who's friends were who. Now she introduces me to some wonderful people. In high school we got into it a few times over clothes and borrowing (I was a more frequent and willing borrow-er than she). These days I find Erin more generous and giving than I probably will ever be. Erin is hard working and long-suffering. She is crafty, stylish, a great aunt to my kids, a super mom to her kids, and FUNNY. Best of all, she is patient and gives me some much-needed perspective.

Nate - I love that Nate is a visual person, like me. He's like another oldest child since he started the boy run in our fam. He makes me laugh because I can relate to a lot of the emotions and opinions he has about things, but he's the boy version. Nathan is confident and unassuming. He loves his wife and daughter and is always trying to be better. I always know when Nate is pissed because he doesn't fake how he feels about things or people. He's also very loyal and organized. I enjoy that. He really was at the mercy of Erin and I growing up and I feel bad I was as self-absorbed as I was in high school because I rarely hung out with him, especially because I REALLY like hanging out now.

David - As my great Aunt Shirley would tell you, David is her heart. He's a lover, not a fighter - however we have learned as a grown-up he doesn't shy from a bar brawl, wrestling match, or round of boxing if it presents itself. Dave has always been sweet natured and loving of all. David is witty, easy to be around, charming, funny, rowdy, a good hugger, an athlete, and still a kid-at-heart. If my mom assigns eating arrangements for a family meal, David usually volunteers for the kid table. He's a great uncle - which I love that my kids love to be with him. He's taught them all sorts of values (ie burping, farting, teasing, etc.) that their uptight mom wouldn't be able to share with them. Dave is easy-going, but loves to read and discuss the intricacies of politics or social issues he reads about in some news magazine.

Michael - Mike and I are forever bonded together since he tried to be born on my birthday in 1988. Yeah, Furr's Cafeteria for a classy birthday dinner and Mike burst thru my mom's water! Nice. Although Mike's the baby of the family, he is a HERO! Really, he has been left with a lot more of my parents' attention than any of us got, which means he's been under the microscope a lot more than I had to me. He is family-centered and will hang out with his old hag of a sister. Michael is also long-suffering (as we've all teased him unceasingly.) Michael is smart (actually, all my siblings are smarter than I am!) and he's driven and goal oriented. He is sweet to others, doesn't get involved in drama, and is finding all sorts of new talents the more he grows up. AND, he'll babysit for me when he doesn't really want to. That's huge. What goes around DOES come around, though, and one day I can return the favor.

As a kid I remember being glad that my dad was such good friends with his sisters. It is a priority to me, a blessing in my life, to be friends with my siblings. There's nothing I wouldn't do for them and I know I can count on them too. What furthers the blessing are the other people they have brought into our family. In-laws, nieces, and nephews have made Erin, Nate, Dave, and Mike even better!

Why don't moms get sick days?

A couple of years ago I grew a tumor on my right ovary and had to have it removed. For months before I had the surgery I knew I was having a problem, even went to the doctor, but until I landed in the ER I didn't know that I was developing a large cyst that would take over normal function of "Rovary". So, the past couple weeks I have had tummy trouble that would lasts a day or so. Every now and then I get this dull ache right around my kidney (on my back.) I have been wondering and trying to think back to the beginning symptoms of the loss of Rovary and I can't recall if it all started the same. Everything is pointing to Lovary hitting the skids. SO, logically, I should go to the Dr., right? I am just not sure how all that works. I am not sure what part of my day job as a stay-at-home mom is supposed to include trips to MY doctor. I need a sick day. I need a time to go to my doctor, be allowed to take the tests, go to lunch afterward, and come home to nap until I feel better. That doesn't happen! Instead, in between stomach cramps, I get to do the dishes (twice -unload, load, unload, load). After being up all night because of aforementioned stomach aches, I get to put away the 11 loads of laundry I did over the weekend. I get to play referee to whining kids, fix three lunches, clean up the kids' toys over and over and over. Finally, I did manage to convince Caylee and Brevin to nap with me and did get some rest, but, alas, no dr.'s appointment or tests. I am expecting more back aches, etc. until this mom can get a sick day!

Sa-Weet Tomatoes

I just have a few minutes while my cake is cooking (yeah, I know, I am really baking and making a dessert for the Oscar shin-dig I'm going to tonight!) and I wanted to give shout out to my buddy, Daniel, who met me (and Erin) for lunch yesterday at Sweet Tomatoes. It was great to get back in touch with him, catch up on the past decade, and do some serious reminiscing. He still cracks me up and I remember what great therapy he was during the very dramatic junior high years. I think I met him at the bus stop for the 6th grade center over in the projects. . . I think. I have a horrible memory (as Erin and Daniel can attest by the number of people I didn't remember from our old neighborhood.) Either way, after we met I remember spending a lot of time walking home from school, hiding out at his house, driving to seminary in the morning with him and his mom (I had 100% attendance those 2 years!), and just being a good friend. After high school and the year at BYU, I stayed at home and went to Community College for the semester before I got married and was excited to run into Daniel a few times and we chatted a little. Ya know how there are people you can be friends with, and it doesn't matter how much time has passed, or how little you have spoken to each other, hanging out once in every ten years is still okay and you just pick up where you left off? I kept having to say, though, "Okay, go back a little bit . . ." I don't really want that much time to pass again, I'd love to keep in contact. He'll make a great addition to the list of my super girlfriends! Sigh. It was good. It was fun and we laughed and he tripped out a little at our mom-status, but it was good. Oh, and Daniel, THERE are the fabulous tinted glasses in the pic! LOL. Mine aren't better unless you're into large plastic babies!

FO SHO! (at least for today!)

Here are a couple of things I know for sure.

I am sure that nobody should honk their horn at the drop-off spots for schools. I know, I know, people are lame drivers and inconsiderate and park in THE worst places, but WHAT does honking the horn do? I am sure that that mom or dad is doing their very best to do what they need to do and it is NO WAY helpful for someone to be honking behind them (or gesturing or shouting or whatever.) Trust me, there have been many times when I've been wanting to lay on my steering wheel, but I don't because it's not helping the situation at all.

I am sure that my husband loves me. Why? For many reasons, but I'll name a couple: #1 he watches Gray's Anatomy every week with me even though he HATES the whole thing. #2 he takes ALL the kids (yeah, all 4) camping for a night so I can have some me time. #3 he doesn't give me crap when I stay out late nights and then am tired the next day and I then complain about it.

If I make a choice for my kids, it won't be the right one. There are some things my kids don't get an opinion about, but for most of the things we decide, they HAVE to tell me it's the opposite choice of what I decided. For example, "Here's oatmeal for breakfast, Mackenzie," she answers, "but I wanted toast and yogurt!" OR, "Caylee, I rented a Barbie movie for you today," [Whining] "But I wanted Polly Pocket!" OR, "Here Brevin, I got these clothes for you to put on," his reply, "Uuuh, I wanted the CARS shirt and army pants." OR, "Here's juice Brock," and right on cue, "NO!" (I am sure the more words he masters the complaint will be more involved.)

Having a passport make me feel sophisticated. I don't know that there is anyway to explain it, but when I opened my envelope I felt a little more la-tee-da!

Tyler's golf quilt

4 years on the SUU golf team +

30 golf team shirts =

A darned cute patchwork quilt for my stud of a husband!

When Tyler finished golfing at Southern Utah, he didn't want to get rid of all his shirts, so we moved them twice. Finally, about three years ago, I decided to cut his shirts into blocks. After that was completed the blocks sat in a box for a few months. Then, I arranged the patterns. Then back in to the box the squares went. Then we moved the box. One day I decided I was going to finally complete the quilt and started sewing strips together (that was 18 months ago.) After the strips stayed in the box for a while, I put the strips together for the quilt top. That was about 9 months ago. FINALLY, I finished the whole danged thing last week! For those of you that is ONE project per every ELEVEN years!

Friends from the beginning are friends til the end!

Last Saturday night I went to dinner with high school girlfriends (Heather and Leanne) and my sis (Erin, who was also a great HS friend) and my sister. It's always fun to get together with the ladies, and each time we do get together I am reminded how we need to do it more often. I think they're great. As I count my blessings in my life, one of them is definitely the wonderful women I have in my life. There are so many times when I feel inadequate or personally challenged and I have always been able to count on my friends to lift me or inspire me. There is a glory in womanhood that I hope I can teach my girls. I love to listen to Mackenzie and Caylee chit chat at night (even if I do hollar at them to go to sleep.) I know it's teaching them great ease in opening up to other women. My mom, as I was a little girl, showed me how important girlfriends were by the close gals she had around her. When I was a little older, and premenstrual or bitter or hormonal or whatever and wanting to curse my gender role, my mom would get really defensive about my negative attitude. I get that now. It's sad to think some woman don't appreciate the role and power we play in our families, society, friendships, etc. Anyhow, just a little shout out to all my sistas out there who make me happy and are rockin' there girly selves!

PS. To my cousin, Kourtney, congrats on your baby boy born any minute (or already today!) You are JUST the kind of woman I'm talkin' about. YOU ROCK GIRL!

Torn

Oh dear, oh dear! (I'm going to try to make a long explanation short, so bear with me.) Since serving in the stake YW presidency, it has been brought to our attention that far too many of our youth are utilizing Myspace for some inappropriate socializing. It's been super disappointing to cruise around on Myspace and check out the profiles of 13-16 year old kids, scantily clad, using horrible language, blasting music I honestly can't let my small kids hear, and posting heavily-sexually-inuendoed pics on thier sites. Despite the warnings and pleadings of leadership in our stake, many of the youths' sites go unmonitered and a lot of them are . . . RAUNCHY. Now, the hard part is that these kids are great kids. They, like all youth, have tons of promise, should be able to spread their wings, and probably just don't understand the integrity part of real life vs. the internet life. SO, I thought, what if I create a profile and ask to be listed as one of their friends? Would that give them pause to consider what they post and how they portray themself online if "sistabarlow" is listed as one of their friends? Or would they deny me access to their site and allow me to then question what would be on their site that they wouldn't want me to see? Or would they have no shame about the choices they're making, even if I don't think it should be the ones they make. This really isn't so much the question. Since creating my account and checking out the Chap Alumni 1995 page I have found many of my old schoolmates online. Most are not members of my church, don't believe in what I believe, and choose to live a different life than I do. I am totally okay with that, and, as an adult, I understand there is a difference in a mature 30 year old living his/her life and recording that on Myspace. However, if I infiltrate the youths' sites, then they are privy to my older friends' sites, some of which is innappropriate for them, or similar to the content I am trying to have them avoid. SO, am I being a hypocrite? Should I also avoid the material and by extension those older friends because of the way they live their life? I feel that option is so close-minded and un-Christ-like. Just because I don't agree or embrace with others' lifestyles, I still care for them and appreciate them and our friendships. Oh bother! I am beginning to see a new issue with Myspace besides the follies of youth online. I fear I offended an old friend by denying his site on my "friends" list, but in all honestly, it doesn't feel right to have that stuff a click away from me and what I represent. I have super fond memories with this friend, consider him true as they come, love him for who he is and want him to be happy on any path he chooses, it's just not a path I want accessed from my account. Again, does that make me a hypocrite? I dunno. Any thoughts or insights? He asked for remarks on his blog in response to my email explaining the Myspace quandry with the youth access to grown-up lifestyles, and I am curious how all the comments will reconcile.

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk?

In honor of President's Day, I would like to make this post as patriotic as possible. . .

Thank you Fergie for asking everyone the question, "Whatcha gonna do with all that junk? All that junk inside your [GARAGE]?" Does anybody else feel like they move one pile of mess from one place to another place only then to have to re-move the mess from it's new spot to another place? I feel like I spend a lot of my time re-moving our stuff. And what is it? Stuff. Random, gotta have it, love to have it on hand, might need it one day, but never really use it often enough STUFF! Nothing says holiday like cleaning out the garage and mine is a thorn in my side. I hate walking though it, we can't park any of our gigantic cars in it, and it's always full of our re-moved piles of stuff. When I drive through my neighborhood I have garage envy of the garages that are pristine without anything except the cars and maybe a few shelves with some storage containers. That's what I aspire to, neat, clean, simple. UGH! But . . . we have all this stuff. Bins upon bins of decorations, Christmas tree boxes, box springs and frames for two beds, an extra fridge, an extra freezer, an eliptical machine (that we use oh-so often), camping crap (I mean gems), school junk (because after I've kept it this long I might as well keep it until I teach again), bikes, sports stuff, gift bags, AND MORE! Oh, I didn't even mention the bins of outgrown clothes and the tools. I am so close to calling a shelving company to come over and splurge and build me some nice shelcing unit that fits our needs. And don't even get me started on all stuff we have INSIDE the house that I move from place to place.

So, what does this have to do with America? It's the blessing and right (and pent-up generations of horders from the Depression era?) of all Americans to have it all. It's in our blood to shop at Target for one thing and bring home seven. We have a predisposition to fill up any open space that we have (think how wide open the wild wild west once was!) and then we get to complain about it on random open forums on the internet. Maybe that's a stretch for a patriotic post, but I can't help but think there are other Americans out there who, on this President's Day, are sick and tired of spending their holidays moving and re-moving their piles of junk!

I will have to write more about the weekend later, and even try hooking up some pictures, but I'm off to make dinner for the fam. First, however, I probably have to re-move the junk that has accumulated on our counters throughout the day . . .SIGH.

All in Knots

Okay, I know this may sound pathetic, but I am finding I am particularly sensitive and that sensitivity seems to hit my stomach. Last night I was go, go, go and by 3am I awoke with horrible stomach cramps and frequent rushes to the bathroom. I have been analyzing why my stomach could be rebelling right now since I am convincing myself it isn't a virus. (If it was a virus that would mean I'd be looking at all my kids possibly getting sick and I can't really go there this morning.) So, here are my options about the stomach: #1) My body didn't like the rush of the evening (music class, visit teaching, youth conference meeting) #2) The quick bites of dinner I took on the run didn't settle well because I ate so fast #3) I ate too many cinnamon rolls when I stopped by my mom's after the last meeting #4) I can't handle the suspense with what's going to happen to happen to Merrideth on Grey's Anatomy. It's quite possible #4 is the winner since I get totally sucked in, even though I knew there was one more show in the little mini-drama series within the series. I laughed out loud at some parts, gasped when Izzy read George the riot act, and totally teared when all those people were finding out about their loved ones. Tyler pokes fun of me the enitre time I am doing it, but I can't help myself. I call it empathetic, he calls it pathetic, and it all gave me a tummy ache! I am off to conquer the day, sick or not . . . that's what mom's do.

101 Things About Me

1. I am a night owl. I prefer to stay up later than anyone in my family, except maybe my daughter. She’s a night owl too and has the stamina to outlast me some nights. I think that early to bed, early to rise thing is a good theory, but I can’t follow through with the practice.
2. I love to write
3. I love to read
4. I look forward to scrapbooking any chance I can
5. I feel like I am a bad mother on more days than I feel like a good one
6. I am a visual learner
7. I get a kick out of organizing things
8. I make up projects for myself
9. I love to teach
10. I think of a myself as a world traveler that has only been to the states (and a quick cruise to Mexico)
11. I love my husband more each day
12. I DO like intimacy when I can forget about my to-do list. Sometimes intimacy is on my to-do list.
13. I think about drinking Coke a lot, especially now that I am cutting back.
14. I wish I didn’t have stretch marks.
15. I am thankful for clean sheets
16. I can figure out a theme or some sort of coordination thread with my kids’ outfits most days.
17. I really think “Presentation is Everything!” about a lot of things.
18. I have really good friends and I really wish I were better at being a friend to them.
19. I feel like I owe it to serve and do my best.
20. I believe in Jesus Christ, the Book of Mormon, the Word of Wisdom, and modern dispensation prophets.
21. Sometimes I question why I believe in Jesus Christ, the Book of Mormon, the Word of Wisdom, and modern prophets, and then I still believe.
22. I enjoy diversity
23. I think the world would feel better if we were all conservative democrats
24. think education is one of the greatest gifts I can give my kids, and none of them think that’s cool.
25. My siblings (birth and in-law alike) are my bestest friends.
26. I would rather have a lot of shoes from Payless than a few name-brand types.
27. I could spend a million dollars at Target
28. My kids have too many clothes. I have too many clothes. My husband has too many clothes.
29. I let my kids watch TV more than I should.
30. I like camping and kind of miss the old days when we used tents.
31. I will eat food even when I am not hungry.
32. I don’t wash my hair every time I shower.
33. I don’t shower every single day. You do the probability.
34. I like to watch reality TV.
35. I enjoy playing games.
36. I like talking to strangers.
37. I am fascinated by others’ lives and their stories.
38. I LOVE broadway musical music and listen to it on road trips.
39. I look forward to when I am a grandparent.
40. I would go back to high school again.
41. I have dream jobs that all involve microphones.
42. I love all sorts of colors, but especially green.
43. I think desert landscaping is pretty ugly.
44. I have to tell my husband how funny I am.
45. I am afraid of losing one of my children or my husband, so I have developed a plan of how I would deal with that tragedy, should it occur.
46. I like staying at hotels.
47. I have control issues I am working on.
48. Chaos makes me nervous.
49. I am a lazy person. I can’t hold on to grudges or emotions or judgments for too long. I don’t have the energy.
50. My toes are ticklish.
51. I love to get massages.
52. I envy those with good style and skinny bodies.
53. I love to look at art and appreciate the talent it takes to create something from nothing.
54. I want to go back to school
55. I hope they call me on a mission.
56. I like going to church, even stake conference.
57. I would like to wear jeans to everything because I don’t have to iron jeans.
58. I consider it a minor miracle to be able to shower, do my hair, and put on make up in the same day.
59. I used to tell people I was allergic to nuts instead of explaining it was just about the nasty taste.
60. I am very impatient.
61. I am always running behind and late.
62. I feel panicked when I realize I don’t have my cell phone.
63. I HAVE to check my email and regular blogs daily.
64. I could shop at the mall everyday and enjoy it.
65. I love a good thunderstorm.
66. I space things all the time and make up stuff that didn’t happen.
67. I think I talk too much and sometimes regret the things I say.
68. I am a get-it-out-on-the table kind of gal.
69. I think my husband is hotter than most.
70. I know I am hard on Mackenzie because she’ll be a better person for it later in her life.
71. I whine.
72. I yell.
73. I like wearing acrylic nails.
74. I fantasize about vacations with no kids and lots of books to read.
75. I like the outdoors.
76. I am in Oprah’s cult. I buy into most everything she has on her show.
77. I think the DVR has changed my life.
78. I would rate Office Depot and Office Max as a couple of my favorite stories to shop at.
79. I have high expectations.
80. I don’t really like cooking dinner.
81. I still get nervous at parent-teacher conferences.
82. I think about the road less traveled only when I am overwhelmed with my kids.
83. I like small, sporty, sleek cars
84. I am not afraid to go to the movies or eat at a restaurant by myself.
85. I am opposed to honking my horn at the school drop-off spot, EVEN if most of the other parents are rude and inconsiderate.
86. I love people watching.
87. I have worn the same perfume for over ten years.
88. I make up words to the songs I like because I am bad a memorizing stuff.
89. I think someone is going to out me for being too young to have kids as old as they are getting. While they’re at it, they could out me for being irreverent, judgmental, and insufficient in most things I do.
90. I love to copy crafty people.
91. I tell myself and others I am not very competitive because I lose most things and don’t want to look like I care about the failure.
92. I can do hard things.
93. I am proud of my family.
94. I think too many people spend too much time on trying to hide from their shortcomings, so 95. I try to acknowledge and embrace mine.
96. I think we all have issues. Some more than others, but a few at the least.
97. I worry my kids are growing too fast, yet I can’t wait for them to be older.
98. I still work for my parents’ approval.
99. I’d listen to country music over rap or heavy metal or alternative.
100. I hope to influence others’ lives in a good way.
101. I am just a normal girl with big hopes, relying on a lot of faith, and the stubbornness to keep working toward it all.

A Little Love

It's late and I should be going to sleep, but after a late dinner and loads of laundry, I thought I'd send out a little love to all those who are checkin' in on this Valentine's Day (or probably the day after!) I never really thought Valentine's was a huge holiday to celebrate, and I am not nearly organized and together enough to do cutesy treats and thoughtful cards for people, but I did enjoy my day today. There's something about every holiday this year that will be a little more unique than most years, though, since I reminisce every holiday in 2007 about how Tyler and I celebrated those holidays our first year together in 1997. Actually, our relationship really had a hint of promise when Tyler sent me a Steve Young Valentine card up to BYU my freshman year (1996). It opened the door for some communication and flirting, and, boy, I am sure he never knew what he was really getting in to when he sent that card. Ten years ago, however, I had to work the closing shift at Lin's Market in Cedar City, UT. I hated that job for all the cleaning, greezy fried chicken, and ugh, EVERYTHING. We were so poor and thick into school and work and the freezing cold February and when I got home from work Tyler had left me a bouquet of hand-drawn roses, cut out, colored, and stuffed into a paper vase. How cute is that? I should take the time to figure how to post pics cuz you know I kept those flimsy, janky, roses. I asked him if he remembered what he gave me that first Valentine's tonight when we were headed in to the restaurant tonight. He answered (total credit) the Steve Young Valentine card. I asked him if he remembered our first married Valentine's, he didn't get that one, and so I reminded him how sweet and creative he had been. He laughed and said, "Yeah, I am still treating you to cheap Valentine's." (He had won a comped dinner at the Italian restaurant at the South Point during a golf tournie, so we were using that tonight.) I really don't care about the price of Valentine's. I don't. We had a great time just eating without having to take care of the kids (Never mind they were totally naughty for the babysitter and I had to do some major chewing out when I got home) and trying to have adult conversation (which is usually about the kids or other people; no real deep and personal analytical convo between the two of us - oh, Tyler did tell me, once we were seated, that the make-out couple next to us, who were also waiting for a table, I guess the guy totally had his hand down his girl's pants - tacky! oh well, I guess everyone celebrates their own way. I am just not one much for public fondling . . . anyway). I decided this morning to make Tyler a basket of all his favorite crap food that we've cut out of our diet and cellophaned it and left it with some balloons at his office while he was at lunch. He was surprised and thrilled (nothing says I love you like ELFudge cookie, Ben and Jerry's, and DOTS, etc.) and I was happy to make him happy. The kids enjoyed the McDonald's treat and Mackenzie got a kick out of the apology note I wrote on a box of candy hearts (she was mad I made her wear french braids to school . . . the nerve of her mother!) All in all I'd say it was a successful Valentine's day. I am going to bed loving my family. And, like Valentine's Day, there are many times I wonder if that will be a once a year occurance too. Loves to y'all!

6 crazy things about me

My sister-in-law tagged me in person this afternoon while we lunched at my sisters. APPARENTLY, I am supposed to list six crazy things about myself, tag six of my blogger friends (which I think I may have four + Stacy, who tagged me), they check my blog and do the same "tag" from their blog. Am I retarded at explaining things or what? [Total sidenote, I kindof obsess about the punctuation with such long sentences. Sometimes I think that a sentence should be nice to look at even if it breaks some of the standard English grammar rules - I know, I am such a rebel.] So, hear it goes . . .

#1. I used to eat dog food and cold beans with bacon soup as a child. EWW! I know, gross. I quit doing both when I realized it was pretty socially uncouth to eat soup from the can or food that animals eat. My dad says its why my hair is so healthy and shiney.

#2. When I have unresolved issues I start to dream about them. It's not bad enough to be mentally busy during the day with little things, but by the time they start showing up in dreams I know I have to get some closure.

#3. I have a coordination thing. I don't even know how to identify it, but somehow I think it's related to my control issues (what isn't?) Even if I don't pick out my kids' clothes to coordinate by color or style, I can usually identify some common thread in their outfits so TECHNICALLY we can be coordinated. I know, it's weird. Sometimes I have to stretch, and now that we have more kids I sometimes have to coordinate in groups and have multiple themes going. Really, who's going to notice or care, but IF the time comes when someone asks what we have in common I can tell them SOMETHING, even if it's that we all have white underwear on or something.

#4. I really believe that their is a nut oil that permeates all foods that have nuts in them. People always try to tell me that I don't like nuts because of the texture, or that the nuts are so small I wouldn't be able to taste them in the food. BUT, I think that's false. When I eat a brownie that has been baked with nuts in them, I can taste the nut EVEN if I don't actually have a nut in my mouth, and that is not what I bargained for. I think I don't like nuts because they're sneaky. It's like, given a choice, people would rather eat a brownie than nuts, so the nut has to leak it's juices all over the brownie and RUIN the yummy treat. The same applies for other desserts, salads, etc. If I want a nut, I'll eat a nut. Don't put it in on the sly, thanks.

#5. I have a hard time wearing my shoes in my house. I know, the Fly Lady is shaking her head, but I end up with a huge pile of shoes by our front door by the end of the week.

#6. I don't know if this is weird (I often tell myself that everyone does this kind of thing), but I like to organize my organizers. Meaning, I am always on the hunt for a better calendar, reminder-system, etc. I had a planner (too bulky), got an electronic planner (played too many games), got a color-coordinated wall calendar (not portable enough), got a mom's planner, etc. The mom's planner I got is great, but I am already growing weary of it. Maybe Tyler's right and I do create projects for myself out of nothing.

That's it. Nothing too weird or crazy. Just me and a little closer look at my innards. Woo hoo!

I am a Domestic Goddess!

I can't remember, as a little girl, ever thinking I would grow up and be a stay-at-home mom of four who worked on stitcheries, patchwork quilts, loads of laundry, spaghetti sauce from scratch and homemade cupcakes all day long, BUT THAT'S ME! I know, I know, not every day can I accomplish such home-makery, but my Monday was particularly productive today. Productive in the do-something-for-everyone-else kind of way. I think if I were really cut out for this kind of work, however, I would have more patience for it. By dinner time, after the dishwasher was unloaded and the toy room was picked up, the table was set, and the frosting made I was a screaming ninny. Did I mention I didn't get a shower today, either? There just isn't enough hours in the day to be a real life super mom. I had to down an Ibuprofen with my dinner just to make it through Family Night. And I had a mini-breakdown to Tyler as I finished the kids laundry while I listened to Mackenzie's violin practice. Does that make me less than normal? I don't think so. I think I'll take my props for getting so much done today and go with that instead of beating myself up for the things I didn't do perfectly. I mean, in addition to everything else my kids are still alive and happy, they played nicely together today more often than not, and I WILL get to shower before bed.

Shockers

I just read my friend, Annilee's, blog and am so shocked (and a little devastated) to find out she is moving to the NW side of town! I am so sad for myself and find that is a common emotion for me to have when I find out a friend is moving away. Never mind the fact that she's buying a house for her and her family, that she'll feel settled after many months here and many more months trying to sell her Utah home to move here . . . SIGH. I still feel bad for myself. Pity party over, I am happy for her and every time I head to Mt. Charleston I know I can visit.

Tonight I went to our church's annual Valentine STAG! Another Shocker? Probably not. Many of you know me well enough to know I have a hard time passing up a social situation. For the past two years, Tyler and I have gone to dinner with our friends, the Littles and Royals, and then hit the church for dancing, dessert, and pictures. When Tyler rescheduled his fishing trip for this weekend I asked him not to go. When he decided to still go (which was totally fair and understandable since he was making up for a trip in Jan) I asked him if he would come back early so we could go to the dance. He honestly told me not to count on it; that it probably wouldn't happen. Not happen, smappen. I went. We went to a great dinner at this cute Swiss restaurant and hit the dance. EVERYONE asked "Where's Tyler?" Of course, I had to admit I was the dork who showed up at a dance solo. Oh well, I had a great time (not that I stayed THAT long) and totally appreciate the show of support from my friends. I am sure they were laughing at my desperation, but I hope they will give Tyler a little bit of a hard time next time they see him. Tyler did tell me that this weekend was one of the best fishing trips he had. I am sure part of it was because he didn't have to go to the dance.

One more embarrassing thing I'd like to confess. I send one of those friendship surveys around to some of you. My dear, sweet cousin emailed me back to point out how I TOTALLY should have edited a little more closely as my #18 answer was a little ambiguous. Nobody (who has read the email) should be shocked that I was completely embarrassed and once again have made a fool out of myself. If you don't know what I am talking about (l cannot even explain it in writing) than GREAT! But if you caught my answer and have any questions, let me clarify that I should have typed, "whole BODY" not just "whole."

Nothing else too shocking that I can think of. I am fighting off a residual migraine headache, so I am turning in early. Tyler's home, so no more puttering. Besides I only have a few minutes to relax my "whole body."

Puttering

It's 1:39am and I am still awake! Tyler headed to Lee's Ferry this weekend with his buddies for a make-up fishing trip and consequently, I am puttering. I didn't get home from the temple until later in the evening and got the kids put to bed even later than later in the evening and THEN I had to watch a few shows I DVR'd and NOW here I am writing a post that probably nobody will read since no one knows I have a blog. Does anyone see the incredible ignorance in the fact that I am staying up later than too late to write about not much to NOBODY!? I am losing it. But, that's what I do when Tyler's out of town. I putter.

Most of the time I will make mental lists for weeks about the projects I want to knock out while he's gone (which is fairly often in comparison to my out-of-towners, if you want to keep count.) Then, once he's gone, I usually just end up puttering. Actually, I downloaded my monthly pics for the newsletter/email where I can share this blog address, so, I guess I did accomplish something.

I am sitting here thinking of our day and I am actually marvelling at how quickly the day (and time) goes. It seems like there will always be so much time to get things done in my day and then, before I know it, it's noon and we're celebrating the success that we all finally got dressed. Inservice days are particularly fleating since our normal schedule and rhythm is a little off with one more person in the house. We did accomplish violin lessons, a clean house (ha ha, not by me, but by the cleaning lady Paula), a trip to Target for valentines and dishwasher detergent (and a cute shirt and some clearance flip flops), dinner for the missionaries (had to drop it at their place since I spaced that obligation), Caylee's music class, and a leadership meeting at the temple. BUT, one true accomplishment was managing to miss Brock's messy bomb-diaper that he managed to hold on to until I had left him at the babysitter's. (Thanks for taking one for the team, Ethan!) Some days feel like a week has happened in the hours we're given. I guess the days really feel longer when you stay up too late putterin' around. I am going to give up the ghost!

January newsletter

I have graduated from the world of newsletters into a full-blown blog. I am not sure what I even want to write. I worry this will be an exercise in self-control, something of which I have very little. It seems there are always a lot of things running through my head, and I thought this would be a good place to dump them. (That way friends and family don't have to read through all 27 pages of my monthly newsletters.) Who knows, maybe this will provide a cathartic release of pent-up issues. WHOA! Not that kind of blog. And I refuse to be pressured into witty posts. I don't think I can hang with those blogs I frequent. Actually, maybe I shouldn't be doing this . . .