Circling

Here's a happy circle for you. Today is a good day in my world because I scored a cute gray sweater on Clearance at Target (they have beaucoup racks out right now). I was at Target with only sit-still-don't-climb-out-of-the-cart baby Briggs. I had one child with me because I had dropped Brock and Brevin off at preschool this morning. I dropped them off this morning because it was the first day of Silverado's preschool. I choose Silverado preschool because Brevin and Brock can go at the same time. Brevin and Brock at preschool at the same time means I can meander at Target for over an hour by myself and score a cute gray sweater on Clearance.

Today was also day 2 of going to the gym. Apparently I still have a membership. Funny how that happened since I didn't cancel it when our contract was up and they just kept on taking my money. I s'pose I should pay more attention. But some things seem to slip by, hmmmm, funny. Anyway. Going to the gym has been a many week process because it has taken me so long to commit to actually going and so yesterday I actually set my alarm and got up at 5:30am to go. And then I got up (which is a step beyond other times I've committed.) I will admit I gave myself credit the whole time I was there even though I wasn't loving it. First I hit the treadmill, did a good ab workout (cuz let's face it - my muffin tops have become quite the bundt cake sitch-i-a-tion), and then went back for the eliptical. I so knew it had been a while since I'd been there because the gym had all this new-fangled equipment. But I did it and I was committed to going this morning.

SOOO, when my alarm went off at 5:30am again this morning here was my circle of thoughts:
"Oh, shut up. I can't believe it's time to get up already. I should turn off the alarm before it really wakes up Tyler. Oh dear. I am sore from yesterday. I don't think I can get up. Nope. Can't hardly move. Guess that twisty machine worked my side fat, er, I mean muscles because I cannot move. Shoot. I need to get going." (Stumble to alarm clock and turn it off.) "I so don't want to go this morning. What else can I do to count as a workout because I seriously cannot hardly move. Oh how sad is that? Oh and the thought of changing and bra-ing is . . . ick. I think I'll climb back in bed and then when I take the boys to preschool this morning -- oh happy day, first day of preschool -- I can put Briggs in the stroller and just walk for an hour. Where would I walk? Oh who cares; I think I'll fall back to sleep." (Then I hear my cell phone text alert) "Oh crap. I bet Erin is already at the gym asking where I am. I guess I'll go. Dang. It's okay, I need to go. I hate that I need to go. Every time I go I see all the people who don't need to go cuz they're all toned and fit and" (Stumble to my diaper bag and dig for my cell phone. Read Erin's text that she's got a headache and not going to the gym.) "sweet! I'm for sure going back to bed. I am still stiff and ugh I can't believe I just got out of bed to read that Erin's NOT going to the gym. I hope she feels better. I hope I feel better. I am getting old. And I'm still chubby. But I don't want to think about that because I'm tired. Plus, I JUST had a baby. No I didn't. It was five months ago. I am still packing 25 pounds of baby. I will take a good walk for sure. I wonder where'll I'll walk. It's gonna be warm. Yuck. Then I'll have to re-shower in the middle of the day which is hardly worth showering this morning but then I hate to start my day without a shower and what if Briggs gets too much sun while I'm walking. I'll cover him up. Oh, but it'll be warm by 9:30am." (By now I am back in bed and totally awake.) "Oh, I am so weak. Here I am on day 2 and I am already quitting. Why am I so weak? I hate being a quitter almost as bad as I hate being chubby. There is that bobypump class at 6am I could still make. Or I could lay here and go back to sleep. *SIGH* I'm so not falling back to sleep. Crap. I might as well go to the gym. I hate the gym." (Stumble BACK out of bed to change.)

And so I made it through the bodypump class. The teacher was super cute and enthused and positive and had a pretty good-looking assistant. Even more miraculous is the fact that I made it to my car without my legs giving out on me. Seriously I was shaking all over. I'm sure my muscles were thinking, "Holy crap lady! We haven't had any kind of work in ages and you're trying to kill us off in one shot." I'm sure tomorrow morning will be 10x worse than this morning, but I am not a quitter and I will be out trying to walk off the stiffness. . . which TECHNICALLY is what I was trying to do when I hit up Target this morning. Ah Target - therapy on so many levels.